Where Do These Rumors Get Started???

Oh, my goodness! Now somebody has started a rumor that I'm pregnant again! I went on Oprah and she mentioned it and I denied it, of course, but it's still floating around out there that we're gonna' have another little Obama. It's true that the B-Man and I would like to have a boy so he could pass on his superior genes and totally awesome basketball skills, but the whole pregnancy thing while I'm living in the White House? I think not. My gosh, those snoopy press people would hound me and there would be even MORE pictures of me on magazine covers. I like that but I'm starting to get a little tired of it to be honest. No, I'm not pregnant.

I have to admit I'm getting a little junk in the trunk but that's because I just eat like a pig what with this free food and all. Ask yourself, if you could have wake up in the middle of the night and have somebody bring you a banana split or a piece of hot apple pie with a scoop of ice cream on it or a nice fillet with bacon wrapped around it or a super-sized frozen margarita with salt and fresh lime, wouldn't you go for it?? You know you would. And we do!! A LOT! Heck, we're makin' hay while the sun shines. Rahm says that if B-Man keeps doin' all this crazy stuff there's a chance he'll step way over the line or get busted for something and he'll get impeached and then we'll be out on our behinds, and then "goodbye free food"! So we're piggin' out while the goin's good!

Speaking of impeached, looks like things are heating up over the whole ACORN voter fraud thing. The idiots in that organization are like The Three Stooges on steroids. They've done things that a 7th grader could figure out were illegal. B-Man says he has enough power to lean on anyone who uncovers stuff that might cause a major fuss and I shouldn't worry. I heard him talkin' on his cellphone the other night right after we went to bed. He though I was asleep because I was snoring like a buzz saw (I always do that after I O.D. on lobster tails and champagne) but I was fakin' it. Anyway, he was talking to somebody named Lenny about maybe having to break somebody's kneecaps. He mentioned some lawyer who was trying to stir up trouble over ACORN and some other stuff. Then they started talking about Bloggo singing...heck, I didn't even know he was interested in music! Anyway, then he hung up, smoked a couple cigarettes and talked to himself for a while and then went to sleep.

I'll be honest with you, Diary, I'm starting to worry about the B-Man. He hardly sleeps at all and sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night to order some food he's pacing around and smoking and scratching his head. I know one thing he's worried about is that Rush Limbaugh character. I guess Rush somehow found out what his cellphone number is because every time B-Man listens to Rush on the radio he always says, "He's got my number...he's got my number." I don't know why B-Man just doesn't get a new one so Rush won't be able to call him. Go figure. Anyway, B-Man is even losing weight in spite of all the free food he's eating! I think he wishes he'd never gotten into this whole presidency thing. I know things were a lot easier when he was a Senator and I was "working" at that hospital in Chicago. Heck, neither of us went to work very often and we still made really good money, and we lived in a nice house and the girls had a lot of friends. Now we don't have any privacy and B-Man works his skinny rear end off and it's just not a whole lot of fun. Everyone tells him what to do and he has to figure out who's right (actually he says he thinks they're probably ALL wrong but he doesn't have any better ideas than they do), and now that we're here in London at this silly G20 conference the newspeople are saying that the Europeans don't even like B-Man any more! Can you believe that??? A while back when he came over here they loved him, and now they can't stand him?

Speaking of the conference, it is starting today and I saw on television there are tons and tons of crazy protesters in the streets with signs and stuff. Some of them say ugly things about B-Man. Honestly, you just can't make some people happy. Oh, and there are a whole bunch of real freaks out there with green hair and funky clothes and all sorts of piercings and they're dancing like a bunch of loonies. I'm sure the security people won't let me get within a mile of them for fear they'll see me and go bonkers.

Speaking of that, I was able to go for a walk yesterday and it was real neat. I must look like somebody named "Schwartzer" who must be really popular because people kept shouting that at me. I yelled back, "I'm NOT Mrs. Schwartzer...really I'm not", over and over but it didn't stop them. It was just strange that everyone seemed to know this person and they all thought I looked like her. I'll have to ask the B-Man about it when he gets back from his little conference where he's not even going to say anything. He told me that his advisors told him to just sit there with his mouth shut and if somebody asked him something to pretend he can't hear them. Seems like a whole lot of bother to come here if he can't talk to them about hope and change and how he's going to make everyone's life better except for the rich people who are going to regret ever voting for him. Hahahaha.......he's gonna' get those rich people GOOD! He laughs about that all the time.

Well, I'd better sign off. I hear the room service cart coming! We ordered fresh orange juice and melon, pancakes, 1/2 pound of bacon cooked crisp, cheese and mushroom omelets, oatmeal, fresh biscuits, scones, French toast with whipped cream and fresh strawberries, and coffee. We'll eat every last crumb of it, too! See why I'm starting to bulk up? It'd take ten hours in the gym to even make a dent in that, and we eat like that three times a day and then a couple times during the night! I tell B-Man I'm storing up for the lean times ahead when we'll have to "sacrifice" like he's told all the American people they'll need to do. Riiiiiggghhhht.....we'll sacrifice. Hahahahah...

Toodles

Michelle
XOXOXOXO