I'm lying here in bed eating fresh strawberries and drinking champagne and not believing what I'm hearing. I TOLD B-Man that flying that backup Air Force One airplane really low over New York with those fighter plane close to it just so he could have a picture for his iPhone was a bad idea. I TOLD HIM but he wouldn't listen. I said, "B-Man, you may have completely forgotten about those nut-cases who flew airplanes into the World Trade Center but I'll bet the people living in New York haven't, and they're gonna' be scared to death." He just waved his hand at me and told me to go take the dog outside for a walk. Look, I'm not the president of the United States like B-Man is...and he won't let me ever forget it...but I knew it was stupid. And sure enough, I was right.
There came that airplane flying really, really low with those little fighters buzzing around it like bugs and people started screaming and yelling and running outside from their office buildings and going completely nut-so. And then...THEN...Mayor Bloomstein or Bloomski or whatever his name is gets in front of the press and you can tell he's REALLY pissed because he didn't know anything about it. And then that idiot Gibbs had to pretend he didn't know anything about it when the press asked him questions during his daily press conference with them. Truth is, he doesn't know much of anything about much of anything so he hardly had to even lie. Did you hear that fool said his job as press secretary is the "funnest job" he's ever had?? Even I know that "funnest" isn't even a word, and if people think he's having fun in that job then maybe they'll want his pay to be cut or something. Geezzzz......he has less brains than he has hair, and he doesn't have much hair. I told B-Man a long time ago to get rid of that guy but for some reason he won't.
Oh...then....I don't know what to say about the fools that run B-Man's teleprompter. How difficult could that be?? So one of them screws up during one of B-Man's historic speeches and gets the pages screwed up and B-Man has to actually tell him to "move it on up"...the page I mean. He pretended it was funny and people in the audience actually laughed but he was STEAMIN' PISSED about it. He keeps hiring his relatives to run that thing so they can have some money but honestly, his people are dumber than stumps. So he paid the price and got embarrassed and all bent out of joint because his cousin Mojuumba or somebody couldn't figure out when to push a button. I'm shakin' my head...again.
Let's see....what else to talk about. Oh....I showed B-Man how I did that math problem yesterday and he said he was very proud of me for figuring it out. He went over it and over it and finally said he couldn't have done it. He said there were too many steps and it confused him. Can you believe that?? He's the guy who is supposed to solve the financial crisis and be in charge of General Motors and all that and he can't even do multiplication and then that dividing stuff?? Lord save us all!! But I'll tell you something...he's one heck of a community organizer and a great campaigner!
Stupid The Dog hasn't gotten any better. He's dumber than the teleprompter people and I'm not sure he's ever going to get housebroken. We've put one of our slaves on him 24/7 or he just leaves piles of poo all over the White House. Yesterday one of the special visitors from some country I've never even heard of (that doesn't narrow it down, I know, because there are a whole BUNCH of countries I've never heard of!!) stepped right into a fresh pile of poo and went nuts. Evidently where they live if you step in animal poo you're cursed for the rest of your life, so this guy stepped in it and then started screaming and crying and made a terrible scene. Luckily we had some visitors from the Washington D.C. Zoo who were showing a bunch of kids some animals and they had one of those guns that shoots darts with medicine in it, so they shot the guy with a dart and he settled down. I don't know what happened to him after that but I'm tellin' you, the dog was in trouble..again.
I'm so sick of hearing about the Swine Flu I could scream. B-Man is tired of it, too, but he has to pretend he cares and make speeches about it and tell everyone he has it under control, when really he hardly has his own bladder under control. This whole place is out of control. Stuff goes on all the time and B-Man is the last to hear about it because Rahm doesn't tell him, but like I've said before, B-Man is scared to death of Rahm so nothing happens. I want to go back to Chicago.
I'm tired now and getting kinda woozy from all the champagne. I know it's still early but I think I'll take a nap and try to dream I'm back in the Windy City at my old job in the hospital. Those were some good times, huh?
Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXO
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