Well, FINALLY something that makes B-Man happy!! He's been in such a nasty mood lately I hardly like to be around him. But here we go with some good news: his "pec picture" is going to be on the May cover of "Washingtonian"!! He's so proud of that picture and the good job the artists did with Photoshop to make his pecs look so cut. I shouldn't tell you this, Diary, and if it gets out I do believe he'll divorce me, but his pecs don't look ANYTHING like that. In fact, he pretty much doesn't even HAVE any pecs.
He does bench presses and push-ups and all kinds of evil exercises but it doesn't seem to help. He asked the White House doctor what was wrong with him and the doctor told him his problem is low testosterone levels that keep his muscles from getting bigger. So no matter how much he works out and sweats and stuff it won't help. I guess that's why he only has to shave his face about once a week. Honestly I think that's why he's afraid of Rahm...because Rahm has this heavy beard and likes to flaunt how much he needs a shave to B-Man!
But anyway, there he is on the cover of that magazine!! He can't wait until he can walk down the street (not that he can do much of that any more) and see his face on all the covers on all the magazine stands! He simply cannot get enough of himself and there is no such thing as over-exposure with him. Oh...I forgot to mention...we have not one, not two, but THREE display cases in our bedroom now filled with all kinds of stuff with his picture on it: coffee cups, drinking glasses, plates, key chains, ash trays, water bottles, koozies, t-shirts, bobble-heads, hats, the list just goes on and on. Every time he sees another one he has to buy it and put it on display. I'm afraid we're going to run out of room because I'm sure before we get kicked out of here there will be a bunch more display cases in the room. I think I'm going to suggest we hang the little things from fishing line from the ceiling, like stars, so they won't take up any floor space. That would be kinda' cool, don't you think?
One thing I don't like about that magazine thing, though. One of the articles is called, "Our Neighbor Is Hot", meaning the B-Man since Washington thinks of him as a neighbor...which I think is kind of presumptuous. We are NOT neighbors of these thugs and criminals that live in this city: we're royalty, we're special, we're the President and First Lady. The nerve of them to think we're their neighbors. Heck, if we could live someplace nicer, like San Diego or France or something and still do the job, we'd do that. Let's face it, Washington is worse than Chicago. People get killed and mugged and smacked down here faster than Pelosi heads to California on the weekends. No way we'd stay here if we didn't have to! "Neighbors", my rosy rear end!! But back to that "hot" comment. I don't appreciate people lookin' at my man and thinking he's hot. I have a hard enough time keepin' his eyes on ME without that magazine puttin' thoughts in his head that he's hot. I'm not gonna' act like Hillary did with Bill if B-Man starts messin' around on me, believe me. I'll make such a fuss that he'll never be able to look me in the eye again. So America needs to get rid of that "our President is hot" idea....for good!!
Oh, did I ever hear a scandal and if this one gets out who knows what will happen! It seems that Barney Frank threw this big party and invited Pelosi and Harry Reid and some other people from Congress and it turned into some kind of orgy. From what I'm told, Barney actually put a little pony saddle on Harry and rode him around and around the room, slapping his rear end with a rolled up newspaper and shouting, "On Harry, on Harry...FASTER, FASTER!!!" When I heard that I thought I'd die laughing. Only I guess it wasn't so funny because Harry isn't exactly a young man and he got some chest pains and they had to quit the game. Plus his sides were all cut up from Barney's spurs. Pelosi started doing Jello shots and ended up swinging from this chandelier and barking like a dog. I really do believe she's nuts in the head and when I heard that it just confirmed what I thought. Then they had this keraoke contest and as it turns out, Pelosi couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Evidently she doesn't sing...she howls...and it hurt people's ears and some really good wine glasses actually exploded when she hit some of the high notes. When she sang, "Stairway To Heaven" she pretty much cleared the room and it sort of broke up the party. Barney was the host of the party but he didn't even see his guests to the door because he'd gone off somewhere to do nasty stuff with one of the caterers who was a real cowboy, evidently. That man is so disgusting I don't even like to be in the same room. Harry spent the night on the couch popping nitro pills, and I guess he was luck to make it until morning. You won't read any of this stuff in the newspapers because they keep it all hush-hush, but I heard there were some photos taken on cell-phones that should get some people some sweet rewards for keeping them out of the tabloids. Washington...what a city!!
Well, I guess I'd better go now. Busy day ahead what with a big lunch and then my nap and then supper! Whoo-eee...I do love this White House gig!!
Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXO
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