Lord have mercy, have you ever heard such a stink about a stupid bow? Look, B-Man doesn't bow to anybody, not John McCain, not Reverend Wright (well, maybe a little to him), and certainly not the king of whatever that raghead country was. Here's the truth: the night before the bowing incident was "Mexican Night" on Air Force One. One of the 500 people we brought with us on the trip was Lupe Hastalavista, the best cooker of Mexican food on the planet. She outdid herself, even in that little airplane kitchen. B-Man kinda' overdid it with the burritos and I have to admit, when he knocks back the kind of food he did that night we all pay for it big-time! Thank goodness we spent the night in a hotel away from everyone. Even though I had to suffer through his gas attacks, the others were spared.
So he gets up, drinks some coffee and orange juice, and heads off to see the king. Just before he went in to greet the guy, this huge, painful gas bubble popped up in his gut and there was just no way he could possibly control it. He figured what he'd do was bend over just a little....just a little....and let the burrito fumare sneak out. I don't know how often those Arab people take baths but B-Man said he figured nobody in the room would even notice the addition to the stench so that's what he did. He wasn't bowing to the king....he really wasn't. He was bowing to the Mexican food!!
So the press gets ahold of it and makes such a big deal out of it, but now the truth is out so everybody can just relax and talk about something else. Like what's been going on here while we were gone. And believe me, this place just went nuts the whole time we were gone. That nut-case Pelosi wrote B-Man up this long list of things she wants to do and put it on B-Man's desk for his signature when he got back. I do believe she's got a brain tumor or something and B-Man gets so mad at her he just goes and plays basketball to let off steam. He says if he doesn't do that he's afraid he'll wrap his big, long half-black fingers around her neck and just squeeze until the normally dead look in her eyes becomes an even deader look. He's serious, too!
So she writes up this list and here are a couple of the things she wants:
1) She wants to be formally designated as "Princess Pelosi". Conservative talk radio has nicknamed her that and she's started liking it, so that's what she wants people to call her, even in the House and Senate. Can you believe that????
2) She wants B-Man to tell Barney Frank that she's officially his boss and he has to do what she tells him to do. She hates Barney because he ignores her and she knows he hates her, too, and it drives her nuts. I guess she thinks if she's his boss she can cut him down to size. B-Man says the truth is that Barney is so stupid he wouldn't even care if she was his boss and he'd still do as he pleased.
3) This is the cruncher...this is the one that made B-Man go play basketball for almost an hour and come back sweating like a Christmas hog: she wants her own jet airplane...one of her very own assigned to her 24/7, and SHE WANTS HER NAME PAINTED ON THE SIDE OF IT!!! She said she wants it to be called the "Pelosi Express" and she wants a picture of her face painted on it, too. She said she needs a G-IV because she needs the room for all her clothes and her friends and stuff. This way she won't have to borrow one from the Air Force all the time. In the paper she says those Air Force people are starting to be really rude to her because she's so demanding and she's just tired of putting up with all their guff.
Well, you can imagine how all this went over with the B-Man. He took this big red magic marker and wrote, "Get Serious!!" across the paper and had it sent back to her. So I guess any pretense of playing nice between them is totally over now. Honestly, that woman needs to be put out to pasture but the cows would probably protest! Hahahah....I just made that one up!
So now that the big G-20 trip is over, B-Man has his staff on the lookout for where we can go next. He totally doesn't get this "working at the White House" business because he says he really doesn't have a clue about what he's supposed to do, but man, he loves to travel and talk to big crowds of people about how nice he is and how sorry he is for America being such a bad country and how he's going to change it and make nice with everyone. THAT'S what he's really best at, that's for sure!
Oh..one more thing...there's supposed to be some big deal on tax day...April 15th. A whole bunch of idiot Americans are going to have what they're calling "Tea Parties" to protest the high taxes and spending that B-Man is pushing through. He says I should just ignore them like he's going to do. He says he wouldn't care if they held the protests in our bedroom, he's still gonna' tax the rich people until they bleed and give all the money to the poor people so they'll like him more and vote for him next election. So that's that.
Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXO
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