.....B-Man is starting to get what I'm calling "The White House Blues". He really doesn't like it here any more. He told me he had NO idea the kind of work he'd have to do if he got elected. He says it's really, really hard and most of the time he doesn't have a clue what's going on. But I've told you that already. Oh...and you absolutely have to keep this a secret...he finally admitted that George Bush did one heck of a job as President but the Bush-haters were too stupid to realize it. He's so afraid there's going to be another terrorist attack in the United States while he's President and he'll get blamed for it. He hardly sleeps at all any more.
What with this latest pirate thing and Hillary calling the pirates "criminals", which implies they have all the rights that go along with criminals, instead of terrorist thugs which is what they are...well...the press is jumping on the bandwagon again. Honestly, they just pick on any little word and won't let it go. It was o.k. when Slick Willie got into that "What is 'is' " routine because he was a Democrat and the press loved him, but now those same reporters are knocking Hillary. Plus B-Man doesn't have a clue about what to do with those pirates, which is why he hasn't said Jack squat about it. He's hoping it'll be settled somehow and it'll just go away...maybe Hillary can even fix it, but he's not too hopeful about that. B-Man says she's a total ditzoid and every time he sees her and her little "lemon-sucking mouth", he says he feels physically ill. But he had to put her in that office or Bill would have been furious with him and who knows what might have happened: he said he didn't want to end up like Vince Foster, whoever that is. All I know is he's really scared of Bill because he says Bill Clinton has done some things that would have landed the average American in prison for life, sort of like that Kennedy guy who drowned his intern...I can't remember his name.
So there's that pirate thing, and the budget thing, and all the Tea Parties going on, and all the hoo-rah about the economy, and Nancy Pelosi, and Barny Frank, and Harry Reid, and Tim Geithner The Tax Cheat, Rush Limbaugh and Gleen Beck and Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity and now the numbers on that poll thing that tell us how much everybody loves B-Man are going DOWN. He says he doesn't care about it because he doesn't work for the American people and most of them, especially the ones who voted for him, are idiots, but I'll tell you a secret....he has a little chart on the inside of his closet door and he tracks those numbers. I dread it when he opens that door because when he sees that chart it always puts him in a really bad mood and he smokes like a ton of cigarettes and mutters things like, "How can they NOT love me???", and "Don't they understand I'm an historic President???", and "This job is really, really hard...don't they know that?" It's breaks my heart to see him like that but I don't know what to do except to smile and dress real nice and hope it helps people start liking him again. If the numbers keep going down I'm honestly afraid he might do something to harm himself, that's how much I think he cares about it.
Oh....my....gosh. I have to bring up one more unpleasant thing: Robert Gibbs, the White House Press Secretary. B-Man is just about to can him, I'm telling you. B-Man thought Gibbs would get better with time but he's not...he's getting WORSE! Now when the press asks him a tough question, like "How can you possibly say that when the President bent over from the waist until his back was parallel with the ground, it wasn't a bow??", Robert gets visibly pissed and comes back with some smarty-pants answer. Honestly, I don't know why they don't just admit that B-Man bowed because he thought it was appropriate and let it go at that. But nooooo, Gibbs has to pretend that all of American didn't see what all of America saw. Who CARES???? But it just shows that he'll say anything, even if it's a big huge lie. So B-Man is starting to get really tired of Gibbs and his inability to make a complete sentence, and his 1950's glasses, and that little hank of greasy hair that falls down on his bald forehead, and the way he sweats when he's on the hot seat, and his arrogant attitude because he's the hoity-toity Press Secretary. Oh...and the reporters are really liking it when he gets upset, which he does a LOT now.
Well, I'm getting tired of writing all this stuff. Why can't we just go back to Chicago and live the lives we did before B-Man got this crazy idea about being President? He hates it, and I hate seeing him hate it, and now it appears more and more of the country is hating him. Well, only a couple more years and we can leave here. Oh...one other thing....B-Man has another chart on his closet door that shows the number of days left for him to be President. He says he's not going to run again and I can tell he loves marking those days off. Well, 2012 can't come too soon for both of us.
(Sigh)
Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXOX
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