Now We're In Turkey!!

I don't know who scheduled this trip but I'm telling you, we are going to some really strange countries. Heck, until we touched down in Air Force One I didn't even know where Turkey was!! Except for that big bird on our dinner table at Thanksgiving...I knew about that one. Well, it turns out Turkey is stuck between Syria and Bulgaria and for the life of me I don't understand why we're here. When I asked B-Man he said it was because Turkey is a Moslem country and he wants to be the first black president to visit a Moslem country.

Frankly I'm getting tired of B-Man and his fixation on being the first black president to do this, or the first black president to do that. Let's face it...no matter WHAT he does, he's the first black president to do it. I'll give you a perfect example of how carried away he's gotten: before we left on this god-forsaken trip, we were standing on the balcony off our bedroom in the White House right before we went to bed. I looked over and B-Man was at the railing peeing down two stories into the bushes. When I asked him what in the heck he was doing, he said, "I'm the first black president to take a whiz off this balcony!!" Is that childish or what? I'm gettin' sick of it.

So I don't understand why B-Man had to drag us here. He SAYS he's not a Moslem any more but I've heard being a Moslem is sort of like being a Marine...once a Moslem, always a Moslem. And if you say you've quit being a Moslem, the rest of them get really mad at you and want to kill you for leaving the religion. Is that crazy, or what?? Plus I have to tell you a secret: you know those little rugs you see the Moslems kneeling on and praying three or four times a day? B-Man has one of those rolled up and hidden under our bed, and sometimes I catch him kneeling on it and chanting some mumbo-jumbo. So I'm just not so sure. Not that it matters to me what he is...heck, after listening to that idiot Reverend Wright for 20-something years I'm not sure what I am any more!!

Oooo, B-Man is really angry about something else, too. As much has he tries to ignore Rush Limbaugh, he hates it that Rush talks about him all the time and busts on him so bad. Now Rush is calling our trip "The Obama Apology Tour". Can you believe that?? Just because B-Man is telling all the world leaders what a sorry country America is and how we've been mean to all of them for the past eight years and how they need to forgive us for it and how he's going to bring everyone closer together. Is that so bad? Rush says B-Man is bringing American down in the eyes of the world, whatever that means. I don't worry about it, but who knows. I mean with everyone hating us anyway, who cares who we look in their stupid eyes?

So now I guess we're going somewhere else tomorrow. They never tell me what's going on and I have to just drag the information out of them. I should feel good, actually, because Vice President Joe isn't told anything and no matter how much he begs and pleads, nobody will STILL tell him anything! Honestly, that man is such a loser. B-Man told him to stay out of the spotlight until our trip is over, and then to ask B-Man's permission before he does ANYTHING. B-Man is really scared of what that fool is capable of doing. You know something funny? He got on the ticket as a guy with a lot of foreign policy experience and we DIDN'T EVEN BRING HIM ON THIS TRIP!!! B-Man told him it was important to stay home and "guard the home front"..... like Joe could guard anything! Hahahaha....

Oh, me....I'm getting tired of typing so I guess I'll go do something else now. Maybe I'll order some food....yeah, that's it....I'll order some food.

Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXO