Hey, I'm Back!

I have a few more minutes so I'll keep going telling you what it's like here in the White House. Let's see...I've covered the food and Air Force One. Oh yeah...I guess I should say right now that the B-Man is not particularly happy.

See, the whole idea about running for President was a real kick for him. I mean who wouldn't like having all the power and living like a king for at least four years, maybe even eight? But I have to be honest with you, this job is just beating him to a pulp! He really wasn't ready for it. I mean he's never really had a real job and doesn't have a clue about leading people. He does a pretty good job faking it, but most everything that's going on might just as well be in Russian...he's beginning to panic. Luckily for him he has some smart, experienced people around him but they all tell him different things to do and sometimes he really gets confused.

One time he took this piece of paper and wrote down a bunch of choices on it and taped it to the wall and threw a dart at it. The first couple times he missed the whole paper, and one of the darts stuck in this lamp on the nightstand that we were told belonged to JFK, whoever that is. Anyway, when he finally hit the paper he chose the choice closest to the dart and did that.

This debt thing and the budget and AIG bonuses and the crashing stock market and North Korea's missiles and Iran's nuke and Russia hating us and China building up their military and gas prices and all the other stuff has the poor B-Man not sleeping worth a crap. To top it all off his hair is beginning to turn gray!! He's dying it but people will figure it out before long, or some stupid reporter will spill the beans. B-Man keeps trying to blame everything on George Bush but even he knows his days are numbered doing that. Eventually he has to take responsibility for what he's doing.

I don't care how much power he has, I don't think he knew what he was getting into when he told those Chicago guys he'd run for President. Heck, we didn't believe he'd get nominated, much less win! We thought Hillary would get the nomination what with Bill's influence and all. After B-Man got the nomination we were really nervous because we thought the Clintons might get the hit man they got to whack Vince Foster and give him our address. No kidding...we were afraid we'd just disappear off the face of the earth, but I guess even Clinton knew he'd get nailed for it.

As sort of a reward for not offing us, B-Man gave Hillary the Secretary of State position even though he knew she'd be a thorn in his side. He sat down with Bill before the appointment and made him cross his heart and hope to die that he'd stay out of the public eye if he gave Hil the job. Bill agreed to it but everyone knows he lies like a rug and will do what he damn well pleases. So far, so good, though. B-Man has been sending Hillary all over the world to keep her away but eventually he'll run out of countries and she'll start hanging around Washington. I don't look forward to that!

Sorry....I sorta' rambled there, didn't I? I do a lot of free association with my thoughts because things are so hectic around here and I have a hard time focusing. Anyway, let's see what else is cool about living here. Mmmm.....well, everybody is really polite. They're probably just petrified we'll do something if they aren't nice to us, but we don't care....we like to be catered to and treated like royalty. I guess that's about it but I'm sure I'll think of some other things.

I'm only going to type a bit longer because the kids will be coming home from school soon and I like to spend some time with them. I'll tell you a little about some of the other people that hang out with B-Man.

First, Rahm Emanual. Talk about a mean, nasty man, that's Rahm. He loves to make people feel like warmed-over dog poop. When he reads bad stuff in the paper about his enemies he just laughs like crazy. I read about that knife incident where he kept sticking a knife into the table at some fancy banquet and I can see him doing that easily. He's a nasty guy, but he's good at what he does and doesn't care who hates him, and believe me a lot of people do.

Second, Nancy Pelosi. Lord have mercy. I've met some air-heads before but this one beats anything I've ever seen. How she ever got where she is is a mystery to me and the B-Man as well. Between you and me he can't stand her. He says she's on a huge power trip but doesn't have the smarts to do it well. He says she's like a rhino crashing around and goring people. I read once that rhinos have teeny tiny brains so I guess that's why he chose that. He's really hoping she won't get reelected...says it would make his life a lot easier.

I have to go now, but next post I'll talk about Barnie Frank and Harry Reid, another couple of real winners. Along with Nancy, B-Man says they're the three dumbest white people he's ever met.

Toodles
Michelle