First Post To My New Blog

Well...here I am! I decided it was time to jump on this "blog train" like everyone else, and I'm really looking forward to giving you the inside scoop on what goes on in my and my husband's life. He's B. Hussein Obama, of course...the President of the Whole Universe (that's what he says he is anyway).

I have a lot of catching up to do since we've been living in the White House for a bunch of weeks already, and I probably won't be able to go back that far since I'm really, really busy, but I promise I'll keep this diary up-to-date from here on. I can share some things with you right now, though, about how things are going so far.

First of all, The B-Man and I can hardly believe where we're living. Every night when we pull those covers up to our chins in our bedroom, we look at each other and just giggle out loud. B-Man says he pulled the ultimate intergalactic con of all times on the stupid American people, and here we are! Let me describe a little about what it's like to live here.

First, we can get anything to eat that we want at any time of day we want it. We have room service 24/7 paid for by the American taxpayers but it's even better than that because no matter what we think of, if they don't have it in the White House kitchen, some lackey has to go out and get it for us. It's just amazing. B-Man and I love to jerk the staff around by coming up with the most outlandish requests we can think of; those idiots in the kitchen never, ever say they don't have it...they just say, "We'll have it right up to you, Madam First Lady". And a few minutes later there's a knock at the door and presto, there's what we asked for. Let me give you an example: the other night I woke up about 2:00 a.m. to pee and got an idea. I woke up the B-Man and told him to watch what I did. I picked up the "magic phone" (that's what we call it...it's a telephone shaped like a leg of lamb and it's connected to some idiot in the kitchen who has to man it every hour of the day.), and told them I wanted two packages of dried cuttlefish and a bowl of poi. I'm sure they had to mobilize some people to race out and get the stuff, but there they were at the door in about 20 minutes with this fancy-schmancy cart with a table cloth on it and these two silver dishes with the cuttlefish and poi on them. Is that crazy, or what?? Next time I'm going to ask for eel sushi and candied pineapple. I swear they'll find it somewhere in this crazy city!

So anyway, we love being able to eat whatever we want, and so do the kids. One day we told them they could eat anything they wanted for one whole day. They were sick for a week after that but I'm sure there is a lesson in there somewhere for them!

Let's see....mmmm....oh yeah, no more housework! Not that I've been cleaning the house for the past several years what with the B-Man's being a Senator and my having that bogus job in the medical center. We had a maid and never lifted a finger so it's not that much different now.

Now for THE BEST part: Air Force One. B-Man loves the blue jacket they have for him with his name on it and "Air Force One" and whatever that insignia is. He had them make two and he keeps one in the closet here in the White House. Sometimes late at night when he's feeling extra frisky he strips naked, puts on the jacket, and then tells me I need to brace myself for a "rough landing". He's a hoot when he does that. I guess it's a turn-on to him because he's always a tiger after his "plane" lands. Whoo-hooooo!!!!

Listen, I'll continue this later. I have to go decide what we're going to have for supper....those kitchen serfs always needs a head's up --- they hate surprises!

Toodles
Michelle