B-Man Is PISSED!!!!!!!

Dear Diary:
Well, I guess I don't have to tell you about what just happened in Denmark, huh? Mercy me, I've NEVER seen B-Man so upset. But let me start at the beginning.

First of all, I don't care what I said about "sacrificing" by coming over here, this has been a total trip! I had that entire 767 jet airplane all to myself without any of B-Man's people telling me, "You can't do this, you can't do that", so I pretty much did what I damn well pleased.....and believe me it was one 3,000 mile PAR-TAY across the Atlantic (that's the right ocean, isn't it? Or is it the Pacific? I always get them confused!) The champagne started flowing before we even lifted off and didn't stop until they dragged me into the shower to sober up and wash the puke out of my hair! Ooooo-EEEEE, it was fun! I don't remember a whole lot about it except that everyone put on those yellow oxygen masks that come out of the ceiling and started dancing around like fools. Too bad some of B-Man's "happy smoke" couldn't have been pumped into those masks, huh?

So we get here and fart around for a couple days, and then B-Man gets here and we start getting ready to talk to that Olympic Committee about having the Olympics in Chicago. I'll be truthful with you, Diary, B-Man only cared about this because he owes SO MANY people favors and the Olympics in Chicago would have made about a gazillion millionaires out of people who don't have enough sense to pump gas! But they helped B-Man get elected so he had to come over and schmooze with these European sissy-boys. Rahm said we shouldn't come unless we knew for sure what the vote was going to be, but Big Smart B-Man said, "Rahm, why don't you just shut up for once and let me do things my way?!!", so Rahm gave him the finger and sulked in the corner.

So we got up on that stage and made those phony speeches...I hated to drag my dad into the mix but B-Man said we had to pull out all the stops, so I did. To be truthful, I'm not even sure he's my dad but I had to pretend he was because it made for a good speech. I thought B-Man's little touch about being able to walk outside with his daughters and see the Olympics was a bit over-the-top but he thought it was soooooo smart. So after the speeches we went and ate some Denmark food...they eat this really salty fish for all three meals and it makes me so thirsty I can't stand it. So we ate the food and then listened to that one IOC boss-man tell about the votes.

When he said Chicago was kicked out first round with 18 out of 80-something votes, B-Man just stared straight ahead but I could see the veins starting to pop out on his neck the way they do when Pelosi opens her fat yap. The last time I saw him this mad was when Bill O'Reilly called him a doofus on his show. And the last time I saw him this disappointed was when I told him he couldn't be President of the World because the world didn't HAVE a President. So he just stared and then we left and went back to Air Force One and he started saying words that even I can't put in you, Diary....and he actually started THROWING THINGS!!! I've NEVER seen him do that. First he threw a full ashtray right at that full-length mirror he had especially installed in our bedroom and glass went everywhere. Then he took the jacket with the Olympic symbol on it that he'd had specially made for when he gets off the plane in the United States and tried to flush it down the toilet. But the toilet got all stopped up and water poured out on the floor and B-Man slipped and fell down and just sat there in all that water and moaned and groaned. It was pathetic. He kept saying, "What am I going to say to Rahm and Mayor Daley...what am I gonna' say to Rahm and Mayor Daley.....". And it just went on and on until I left and got some champagne.

So....Diary....now he gets to talk to those Iranian crazies about the nukes, and his healthcare thing is a disaster, and all the czars are starting to get looked at, and the economy is in the tank worse than ever, and his beloved ACORN has gotten busted big-time, and Afghanistan is a total mess, and to top it off Pelosi is calling him every hour and telling him something else to do.

Honestly, we both wish we'd never gotten involved in all this. Really. B-Man just isn't cut out for it and I'm getting tired of all the photographers already. I'm going to see if he can pretend to be really sick so we can leave the White House and go back to Chicago. Heck, Jimmy Carter has managed to survive just fine.

Gotta go now, Diary.

Toodles
XOXOXOXOXOXOX