Children's Health Fair Thingy

Well, Diary, I guess I did a really good thing when I had the Children's Health Fair on the back lawn of the White House. I really do care about kids and all since me and B-Man have two of them, you know. Well, I have two of them anyway....B-Man says he may have more he doesn't know about! He laughed when he said that and told me he was just kidding but I don't think he was....he was a real swordsman when he was younger! I keep waiting for some woman to go to the press and tell them she had Barack's baby. If that happened, B-Man would probably have to make a call to some of his Chicago friends and the woman and her kiddo would disappear. He's done that before and doesn't have any problem doing it. He says, "What I don't know won't hurt me", whatever THAT means!

Anyway, so I had this fair thing and played with all the kids and then we started hula hooping. All the kids shouted and screamed at me to "do the hoop", so I put it on and started bumpin' and grindin' like I do with B-Man after I've had too much champagne, and honestly, Diary, I started GETTIN' INTO IT!!! I'm not kidding! Maybe it was that new thong I was wearing or maybe it was the warm weather or the kids shoutin' at me and encouraging me but I got all flushed and before I knew it I had the "Big O" right there on the White House lawn!!! I don't think anyone knew what happened but I CERTAINLY DID!! Somebody counted and they told me I humped that thing 142 times before it finally dropped. Well, I don't have to tell you why I dropped it! I almost fell over but managed to compose myself.

Oh, and the photographers took the MOST unflattering picture of me with the hula hoop. When me and B-Man and the girls first got to the White House my belly was flat as a board, and I took a lot of pride in it. But after all the caviar and champagne and high livin', I've got a pretty good pooch going. B-Man has made some snide comments about it, like, "Hey, Michelle, are you pregnant again?", and "Hey, Michelle, you're getting fat, you big pig!", and "Hey, Michelle, I see that caviar and champagne has gone to your gut!"....stuff like that. He thinks it's so funny, but then he laughs at some really strange things....like when the unemployment numbers go up or the new jobless figures come out. But after that he always says, "Just like I wanted...everything is going according to The Plan". I don't know what "The Plan" is, but B-Man and Rahm and that Axlerod guy are always scheming with their heads real close together and they're always talkin' about "The Plan". So it must not be good if those guys are in on it.

So anyway, those stupid photographers take this picture and plaster it all over the place. There I am with that hoop riding up over my pooch and my belt is stuck up over the pooch right under my boobs and it makes me look like a fat cow. I may have to cut back to just four bottles of the bubbly every day and get my tummy flat again...or maybe not. I may just wait until B-Man looses the next election and we have to leave the White House and return to a more normal diet when we have to pay for the food ourselves. Boy, that's gonna' be hard to get used to!

Well, I've rattled on and on again. B-Man isn't too happy these days what with that mess in Afghanistan and Cheney accusing him of being a pussy because he won't make a decision on the troops. Then there's the healthcare mess, the economy and everyone losing their jobs, and talk about another stimulus, and that pay czar guy cutting some people's pay by 90%, and Pelosi still screeching and flapping around, and Harry Reid about to get defeated in Nevada, and Fox News reporting all the stuff that's really happening, and....oh, gosh, Diary, it makes me so tired to see how everything is falling apart. B-Man actually cried himself to sleep last night. He said he has no idea what's going on and really, really wishes McCain had won the election. But there's nothing we can do about it now, is there? I told him he just needs to grow a set and deal with it but it just made him cry harder.

Oh well. Time for some champagne!

Toodles
Michelle
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOO